I have a question ?

Hello everyone. Im not sure if anyone even reads my blogs because I have no comments :/ lol But I would like to know if anybody knows why the second or third flare up during withdrawal is suppose to be the worst one? If anybody replies I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you and once again Happy New Years Eve :)

About 7 months into 1st withdrawal

December 2012 about 7 months into withdrawal (unknowingly) I got a job in Taco Bell. I still had eczema but it was slowly becoming less.

Eyebrows drawn on because I still didn't have lol

Valentines Day :) Feb 2013 and as you can see my eczema was basically almost gone.

Feb 22 2013 and my eyebrows were growing back my face and arms were ECZEMA FREE

So happy I could wear makeup and as you can see my eyebrows grew too much lol

ECZEMA FREE June 2013

 

I continued with no Eczema the whole summer until September when I started getting a few spots in my inner elbows forehead and neck. That's when I went to P.R and it didn't spread and when I came back here September 20th is when it got bad. (VIEW MY FIRST FEW POSTS)

 

 

Starting My first Withdrawal

When my cream ran out I immediately went into withdrawal. But at that time I had no clue what that was or that steroids could do so much damage.

Eczema started spreading on my face quickly.

Lost my eyebrows. Under eye getting wrinkly.

About 3 months into withdrawal (unknowingly)

19th Birthday :) Flare ups became less and less severe.

 

After Pregnancy Photos

After giving birth I had to stop using steroids so that I could breastfeed my daughter and that's when it got real bad.

Spots on my face spread within a week. That's how old my daughter was in this pic.

I tried to be happy for her :) But you can see the eczema on my face and arms.

 

When my daughter was about 3 weeks she went on formula because she couldn't latch on my nipple. I use to pump but got sick and couldn't give her that milk due to my fever. When I tried giving it to her again she didn't want it so she stayed on formula and I went back on steroids. I was so happy not knowing the damage I was doing to myself.

 

My eczema was going away yayy :D I was so happy I even got to dye my hair honey colored.

Oh how nice my skin looked. But like every good thing it ends. My insurance got taken away when my daughter was 3 months old. I had some cream and used it for a few more months but then I ran out. 

 

Some Pictures of Me

This is me before having eczema :/ I was 17 here. This is right before I got pregnant.

I was already pregnant here maybe a month or so but no eczema yet.

My HS graduation 3 months pregnant. Eczema was starting to spread. A little spot on my face.

 

5 months pregnant with eczema. How different I looked. I started steroids this month.

My 18th Birthday and baby shower. No eyebrows and my face was bad but I had makeup on. Still on steroids that's why my arms look ok.

A day before giving birth. Steroids kept my eczema ok except for that one spot that wouldn't leave my face since 3 months pregnant.

 

 

 

 

 

Day 53 TSW

Happy New Years Eve to everyone. Day 53 of my withdrawal already I am happy I've made it this far. I am still awaiting my 2nd flare up. My legs don't really itch as much. My arms are starting to flare up a bit but it doesn't look bad. The sides of my stomach you cant tell I have anything but they usually hurt :/ I still cant sleep at night neither mostly because I cant find a way to be comfortable on the bed for my skin. EVERY little thing bothers my skin its so sensitive. I've been drinking my tea for a week and im not sure if its even detoxing my blood. I use my boiled herb water after the shower and still use the Asepxia soap. What really itches is my face. It gets sooo dry I have flakes and a bunch of wrinkles like c'mon now Im only 20 and look 40 -_- But I've summed up the courage to go out once in a while I cant be home laying in bed all day it worsens the depression. The Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream is still my Holy Grail item and in just a few hours takes all my dry facial skin away but I recently ran out and my next cream wont arrive here till January 3rd. How will I survive ? lol. I am also still using my Curel lotion and now the Vaseline Oats lotion in the yellow bottle.

Support !

Merry Christmas Everybody :) So Xmas Eve I actually went out to my neighbors house lol Then I went to watch the hunger games in the movie theater. When I am distracted I scratch less ! But I feel like I am still missing support :( When I woke up the next day after my breakdown my brother tells me "I was gunna hit you last night" I said why and he said "because your crying is annoying". That hurts. He has no idea what im going through. Anyways I am trying to be more positive now because faith will get you a long way. You cant be negative and I will admit I was saying all kinds of negative things that night including "I wanna die" :( This is just so hard but I know I will be sooo happy when I have my life back ! Sleep is still non existent but I am eating a bit more. I also quit soda and juice due to its high sugar content. I cheated today for the holidays and drank soda hehe but other than that just WATER and my tea.

Breaking Down :/

So on Sunday Dec 22 I began a natural treatment of teas and herbs. I don't really know if this will help my TSW or worsen it. I use a soap now called Asepxia then I boil herbs in put the water on myself right after the shower. I drink a tea twice a day that is suppose to detox my blood. And I use a cream called biancamex its a acne treatment but its suppose to help. So Sunday everything was ok. But Monday night I broke down crying because I was I pain and couldn't sleep :( I even punched myself in the head and kept crying for hours. I realized the cream dries out my eczema which is good but it leaves my skin so dry that it itches even more. So I now use a lotion named Curel. Its suppose to be for eczema prone skin. And I also use floral water even though it burns in the beginning it feels soothing after. I am still using my Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream but am running out. I put the biancamex on my face and I woke up to a scaly crocodile like face I will no longer put that on my face just my body.

Have Faith

What motivated me to do this blog is other people with eczema! I believe that when going through withdrawal what you need most is support. People who don't understand what your going through can only support you so much. And I know I bother people with my complaining and they look at me like im exaggerating but those who aren't going through this could never understand the physical and emotional pain that comes with this. I want to help people and what helps me to have faith is looking at other people TSW stories and how they got cured. Sometimes you want to give up and be like eff it go back to steroids and deal with it. But in the long run TSW will be worth it. The thing about this process is that its very long and when you think your getting better you get 10 times worse. The first flare up after you start your TSW will be extremely bad but the 2nd flare up is suppose to be the worst. I am now awaiting it and I am scared. I want my life back :/ My sleep back my appetite back. Its impossible not to have suicidal thoughts during this because it is one of the worst things you can go through and you need support. People think "just don't scratch" or "your spreading it stop scratching" things like that really don't help especially when you already feel like crap. I am here for anybody that needs me and we can go through this together ! Always have faith :)

TSW Week 5 Day 39 :)

Ok so today December 17 is my 39th day of withdrawal. My face has been so dry I look like an old lady. I remembered that I had ordered Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream but never used it because I was scared (didn't know how my skin would react). After spending most of Dec 15 reading reviews about it and people with eczema saying it helped their skin in two days I said hey why not I have nothing to lose. So bamm I put it on. This cream is supposed to be used at bedtime because that is when your skin heals best. But since I cant really sleep I couldn't get the full effect of the cream :/ I woke up Dec 16th and was very skeptical because my face was still dry and sooo itchy. I kept the cream on the whole day and put it on at night. When I woke up today I touched my face and it felt soo soft. When I looked in the mirror I was so happy I couldn't believe it. My face was soooo much better not as red and not as dry! I mean it wasn't perfect but after only 2 days I can say the cream lives up to its expectations. Right now I have Vaseline on my face and I did scratch because I cant help it :/ Tonight I will also put on the 8 hour cream and see how I wake up tomorrow.

Finally not a forced smile ! I was actually happy

TSW weeks 2-5

These 3 weeks have been a roller coaster. One day Id wake up better then worst. I cut my nails really short so I wouldn't cut my skin. But the itch was so intense that I looked for things to scratch with such as hair brushes. OUCH!! yes I know but you get so desperate. I would scratch and it felt so good until I bled and right after comes the pain and the thought "why would I do that?" I tried desitin on my arms and back and thighs but unlike the face it rubs off easily on other parts of the body so it didn't do much for me. I've tried Vaseline aloe lotion and jergans ultra healing. I was a peeling mess. My arms where always flaking and they hurt so much. Theres flakes all over the bed on the couch in pillows its so nasty. My face one day looks ok the next its extremely dry then itchy then it has cuts. My skin is so bipolar.

The swelling in my eyes has got down quite a bit but my skin is so red I look like I have rosacea. I can no longer sleep :( I lay down but I find myself awake till sometimes 12 in the afternoon the next day. If I sleep its only like an hour or two then I wake up. Ive tried zzzquill and it didn't help. I also tried ambien and that was no help. I even bought melatonin supplements which is suppose to make you sleepy and after taking it 4 days saw no results.

Week 1 TSW

Like 2 days after stopping steroids cold turkey my eczema got extremely bad. My eczema spread all over. I couldn't take the itch and burning. Id cry because I couldn't sleep :( my skin was so thin that in one of my scratch attacks I peeled the actual skin off my face. It hurt so much and water was coming out of it. I didn't know what to do. I saw my daughters desitin cream and saw the main ingredient was zinc oxide. So yup I put desitin on my face. My skin started to grow back the next day but id get so itchy id jus scratch it off again. It was a continuous cycle that I thought my skin would never grow back bcus I kept scratchin it off. Don't ask me how but after about a week of lookin like a ghost from havin destin on my face enough skin had grew back that I could actually stop using it.

right after I scratched my face skin off

I look like a mime lol

no more desitin after a week !

 

As for my arms and legs they were extremely dry and red. I also had it on my back and it hurt so much that I couldn't lay down and clothes bothered me.

Some pictures right b4 starting oral steroids

After coming from PR my eyes started to swell

My neck was getting red and itchy

Face swelling

Arm eczema spreading

My eyes were so swollen I could barely see. This is the day I went to the hospital

How my eczema began. . .

My eczema began 3 years ago when I was 17. I was pregnant and started getting red itchy patches which the doctors said it was just a "pregnancy rash". It began when I was about 4 months pregnant. By the time I was 5 and a half months pregnant it had spread all over my body. The itch was unbearable and I couldn't use anything strong to help. At about 7 months pregnant the Dr. gave the ok for me to use mild steroids. The Dr said it was a great possibility my eczema would go away after I gave birth. Well it didn't :( After I had my daughter it got really bad. I then was prescribed stronger steroids. When my daughter was about 3 months old my insurance got taken away and I could no longer afford the steroids. I used Vaseline and cortisone 10. I didn't know anything about tsw but I was going through it. I stopped using the steroids around april 2012 and by march 2013 my eczema had gone away. But it came back this year in September in small patches. I then went to Puerto rico and it didn't spread but th moment I came back to New Jersey it got so bad. My eyes were swollen shut and the eczma spread everywhere. It was so severe I went to the hospital and even though I didn't want to take steroids I had to take oral steroids because it was so bad. I was on the pill for ten days and on a cream for about a week that's when I came upon itsan and it explained topical steroid withdrawal. I stopped all steroids November 9th 2013.

Introduction :)

Hello Everyone. I am 20 years and have had eczema for 3 years. Join me in my journey as I go through topical steroid withdrawal. TOGETHER WE CAN DO THIS !